Why Marriage is a Big Deal

Last Sunday’s gospel was about the wedding feast at Cana, and the first reading from Isaiah cited God’s reference to his people as, “My Delight” and “Espoused.”  “For the Lord delights in you and makes your land his spouse.  As a young man marries a virgin, your Builder shall marry you; and as a bridegroom rejoices in his bride, so shall your God rejoice in you.”  (Isaiah 62:5)  And in Monday’s gospel Jesus refers to Himself as a bridegroom: “Can the wedding guests fast while the bridegroom is with them?” (Mark 2:19)

All these references to marriage, and God treating us as His spouse, got me thinking about the nature and truth of marriage, which seems to have been lost in the current debate about gay marriage.  Professor Robert George who teaches at Princeton and Harvard is an expert on marital law and a strong advocate of traditional marriage. He believes that this whole debate about gay marriage hinges on answering the question: “What is marriage?”  Advocates of gay marriage believe it is an intense emotional relationship, a romantic-sexual relationship, and/or domestic partnership.  However, throughout history, even before there were civil laws concerning marriage, it has been understood to be much more.  For thousands of years, the traditional understanding of marriage has been that it is a conjugal union of two people who share a life in which the sexual-reproductive complementarity of a man and woman produces children.  It is the only means by which the human race can continue.  Moreover, the marriage of one man and one woman has long been understood to be the natural and best setting for rearing children and propagating life.  These facts are readily understood by human reason, since it is only a man and a woman who can conceive a child, a fact of nature revealed in our very bodies.

In his inaugural speech, president Obama cited his determination to achieve “marital equity.”   But if everyone who wants to get married should be equally eligible to do so, why put any limits at all on marriage?  Is it “inequitable” to deny anyone a marriage license?  If marriage were merely the acknowledgement of intense emotional relationships, why limit it to two people?  Why not allow fathers to marry daughters, or siblings to marry each other?  For millennia, society has recognized the importance of promoting and protecting the special relationship of a man and women who raise a family because this is in the best interest of society to do so.  The purpose of government and civil law is to promote the common good.   Laws put restrictions on human activity that that are adverse to the common good.   For years, the American Psychological Association has maintained that “not a single study has found children of gay parents to be disadvantaged in any significant respect relative to children of heterosexual couples.”   Numerous judges have cited these studies when finding in favor of gay marriage, citing a “no difference theory.”  However, two new, very broad and well-documented studies, have demonstrated that the previous studies were biased, many not including control groups, some as small as only five subjects, or relying solely on interviews with parents.   An extensive, scientifically sound study, done at the University of Texas, now demonstrates without a doubt that children raised by gay couples fare much worse in a host of different outcomes, when compared to children raised in traditional families.  It turns out that 80% of the 59 studies referred to by the APA sampled fewer than 100 people.  One study consisted of only 5 participants, and many others sampled only the children of affluent families.   However, the new study screened 15,000 Americans and surveyed 3000 participants, and reports quite different findings.  With a high degree of statistical confidence, this new study reveals that Americans ages 18-39 who grew up with same sex parents fared much worse on 25 of 40 measures evaluated.  They were three and a half times more likely to be unemployed, four times likelier to be on public assistance, more likely to have been arrested and pled guilty of criminal offenses, to smoke marijuana, and to have thought about suicide during the preceding year.   Perhaps most startling of all, children of gay couples were 11 times more likely to report that they had been touched sexually in an inappropriate way by an adult. 

Of course, no one seems to know about this study, because the media won’t report on it.  In the months ahead, when the Supreme Court hears a group of marriage cases, it will be interesting to see if they will uphold the “no difference theory” or change their view, based on the principle that it is in the best interest of the common good for children to be raised in a wholesome environment.  Or will they put the notion of “marriage equality” ahead of the common good, similar to Roe v. Wade which asserted that privacy superseded a child’s right to life?  During the 40 years since the Supreme Court withdrew the States’ right to regulate abortion, 55 million babies have been murdered in their mothers’ womb.  Our country has so devalued human life that, four decades later, we’re seeing unprecedented homicide and suicide rates.  Our economy is languishing for lack of growth, but how can we expect to grow our economy with birth rates plummeting?  Consumer spending cannot increase forever without an increase in consumers.  Burgeoning entitlement programs cannot be funded with a shrinking taxpayer base.  It all gets back to what’s good for society, and neither killing babies nor destroying marriage is good for our nation.  Marriage and family are at the heart of any healthy society and economy, but the more we do to undermine the principles of marriage and child-rearing, the less hope we have for the future. 

During this year of faith, let’s all pray for an increase in faith to offset the faithlessness that makes individual autonomy the be-all and end-all principle behind our current government regime.