World Marriage Day

Sunday February 9^th was World Marriage Day in the Catholic Church.  After the homily, our pastor had all married couples stand and renew their wedding vows.  Afterwards he gave us all a special blessing.  It was all very moving, and a vivid reminder of the permanency of our commitment to one another and to God who “joined us together” in sacred matrimony.   A new study, conducted by Rasmussen Reports in December 2013, found that 53% of Americans now view marriage as a religious institution.  That’s up from 48% just 3 months earlier.  Only 40% consider marriage a civil institution, a 5 point drop from the previous survey.   Several years ago, the US Catholic Bishops released a pastoral letter entitled: Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan.   In it, they describe marriage as natural gift from God as revealed in the way He created our bodies (Genesis 1:27-28, 2:21-24).  They also explain that Christ elevated marriage to the level of a sacrament and a sign of His love for the Church.  Here is the wording of the Nuptial Blessing from the Rite of Marriage:

“Father, to reveal the plan of your love, you made the union of husband and wife an image of the covenant between you and your people.”

The pastoral letter goes on to explain that marriage is a special blessing for everyone in all time and in all cultures.  It is a source of blessing to the couple, the family, and society, because it includes the gift of co-creating human life.  Pope John Paul II never tired of reminding us that future of humanity depends on marriage and family.  Miraculously, God has included man and woman in the act of co-creating a new human being, body, soul and spirit.   In this way, the couple is privileged to participate in the inner life of the Holy Trinity, two people joining together in unity so powerful that it becomes the source of a third person.   This is God’s plan for humanity and it also reveals the life-giving love of God for all humanity.  These are the reasons why marriage can ONLY be the union of a man and woman.

Sunday’s gospel includes Jesus’ call for all of us to be light and salt to the world.  He challenges us to get involved in social and political life, rather than merely standing by, hiding our spirituality.   Marriage is special way in which we can demonstrate the beauty, truth, and goodness of life.  It demands that we love one another as Christ loves us, putting the good of our spouse ahead of our selfish desires, just as Christ sacrificed Himself for all of us.  The demands of marriage make us better persons, calling us to fidelity, and the development of the virtues of honesty, responsibility, and respect for the dignity of others.  The rewards of marriage are many, but the greatest of all is that we are able to come to know and experience the love of God.  Consider the words of St. John:

“Beloved, let us love one another because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten of God and has knowledge of God.   The man without love has known nothing of God, for God is love.”  (1 John 4:7)

Sadly, many people succumb to the temptations of lust, and out of selfish desire pervert God’s plan for humanity and the beautiful gift of our sexuality.  If this becomes habitual, it makes it difficult, if not impossible for that person to cultivate the virtues necessary to attain true happiness through God’s plan.  Infidelity, pornography, sex crimes, human trafficking, and broken relationships are all symptoms of the failure to understand and strive to live and love as God intended for us.  The consequences include depression, divorce, abortion, sexually transmitted disease, and even death (e.g., from AIDS or cervical cancer).  While this may sound harsh, it is the truth.   Rather than address the underlying problems of promiscuity, infidelity, and failure to cultivate virtues such as chastity, self-control, and respect for the innate dignity of every person, our society instead advocates “safe sex” and demands that children be vaccinated against HPV. 

All the publicity about “marriage equality” is missing the point that marriage is much more than just two people in love, it is about God’s plan for the continuation of humanity.   If two people of the same sex are in love and want to live together, I respect their decision, but do not agree that their relationship constitutes a “marriage.”  If the state wants to accord them certain legal rights with respect to taxes, property rights, etc. that should be up to the local legislature.  However, the “marriage equality” initiative goes much further.  Once adopted by a State, advocates for gay marriage now demand that everyone else agree with their view of marriage, and are completely intolerant of anyone who disagrees with them.  Numerous lawsuits have already been heard in courts across the country where people have been fined and threatened with imprisonment for refusal to participate in gay marriage ceremonies.  Bakers, florists, photographers, and wedding planners who disagree on the subject of gay marriage, have been found guilty of violating the civil rights of the gay couple for refusing to participate in their marriage.   School curriculum has been changed to teach children that gay marriage is perfectly “normal,” some even suggest that young teens may want to experiment in order to discern their sexual identity.  In one jurisdiction in California, high school cross-dressers cannot be refused use of the bathrooms of the opposite sex.  Scotland recently passed a gay marriage law and explicitly refused to include an amendment that would protect clergy who refuse to preside over gay marriage, or allow the use of churches for gay weddings.

What the world needs now, more than ever, is a better understanding of the true meaning of our sexuality in the context of the sacred institution of marriage.  John Paul II’s epic Theology of the Body would go a long way in clearing up all this confusion, if only we could get people to read it or hear it proclaimed.  His use of anthropology and biology in combination with theology, make a strong case for living in accord with God’s plan for men and women.  It is the antidote for the culture of death and makes a compelling case for the culture of life being the true path to happiness.

In the coming year, Pope Francis is expected to publish something along the lines of “human ecology” and I can’t wait to read it.  With so many people concerned about ecology and protecting the environment, there seems to be little concern for what Pope Francis has called “the throw away culture.”  We want to protect the earth, the atmosphere, the oceans, the endangered animals and insects, but continue to kill (throw away) over a million babies a year here in America, and probably millions more through undocumented chemical abortions. 

Lest I end on a sour note, let me remind you that despite the dismal statistics on divorce rates, less than 20% of Catholics who attend mass weekly get divorced, and fewer than 1% who practice Natural Family Planning will ever divorce.  The reason is that they are taking the time to discern God’s plan and making the effort to love one another as God loves us.  In doing so, they are becoming the Light of the world and the hope of the future.  This is the true path to happiness, and it’s open to everyone.