Today’s
readings are all about marriage and children, starting with the Genesis
creation account which declares,
"This
one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
this one shall be called 'woman, ' for out of 'her man' this one has been taken."
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one flesh.”
this one shall be called 'woman, ' for out of 'her man' this one has been taken."
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one flesh.”
In the
gospel, when Jesus is asked whether or not divorce is lawful, He replies with
unequivocal support for the sanctity of marriage:
“But from the
beginning of creation, God made them male and female.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother
and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
So they are no longer two but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate."
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother
and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
So they are no longer two but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate."
Our
culture has forgotten, or chooses to ignore the fact, that marriage is more
than just a legal contract, it is a sacred institution conceived by God and
revealed in the truth of our bodies.
When God created us male and female, He did so out of love for us, and
to ensure the continuation of humanity.
In creating us male and female, God made men and women different but
complementary, as revealed in our physical differences. He designed our bodies to be united in love (one
flesh) and for that unity to be the genesis of new life, conceived in love and
commitment. These two aspects of
physical love, unity and procreation, have long been upheld by the church as
the central components of marriage and the marriage act. Men and women are intended to love each other
as they love themselves, as St. Paul points out in his epistle to the Ephesians
(5:28). Paul also points out that Christ’s
love for the church is like that of a husband for his wife. In Theology
of the Body, John Paul II explains that married love is participation
in the inner life of the Trinity because it is self-giving and reflects the
unity and life-giving nature of the Trinity.
For thousands of years people seem to have intuited this, and therefore the
marriage of a man and a woman has been held sacrosanct by societies from every
culture in every age… until now.
Over the
past 50 years, marriage has been in decline, reduced to little more than a
social contract with even less legal protection than business contracts which
cannot be broken without cause. Divorce
statistics are dismal and disheartening.
Divorce has been the source of untold emotional damage to children whose
families were destroyed by the notion of disposable spouses, and perhaps an
impediment to adult children of divorce’s ability to make commitments to
marriage.
So after
thousands of years, what has been the cause of the demise of marriage? The answer can also be found in today’s gospel:
"Let the
children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to
such as these."
When
it became technically possible to separate the marriage act from the
possibility of procreation, God’s plan for humanity was ripped asunder. With no responsibility for conceiving
children, sexual intercourse moved from an act of self-giving and commitment,
to one of self-satisfaction and pleasure.
Even Sigmund Freud recognized that this was a recipe for disaster. Sex without commitment to love and
responsibility is not unitive, it is selfish.
As a secular culture, separated from God’s truth about our bodies, we
now put the individual first in all matters.
As such, we no longer view others in terms of our responsibility and
commitment to them, but rather, we see the world and other people as sources of
pleasure and personal fulfillment. No
wonder then that when we tire of someone, we cast them off, just as we would
any other impediment to our perceived happiness.
We
all know that the bodies of men and women are different in many ways. Besides the differences in appearance, our
bodies produce different hormones, and elicit different emotions to situations.
Testosterone is present in both men and
women, and among other things, it gives us our sex drive. Men have 20 times more testosterone than
women, accounting for their perpetual eagerness for sex. However, marriage brings with it a taming
influence over men’s instinctual nature.
The love of a woman gives a man the determination to exercise
self-control over hormonal urges, out of love and respect for his wife, and
responsibility to his family. But when
the wife’s fertility has been suppressed, and responsibility for procreation removed,
the woman can become an object for man’s pleasure rather than respected for her
personal dignity. This is why Pope Paul
VI prophetically warned that contraception would inevitably lead to more
divorce and the decline of marriage.
Of
course there are many other consequences of contraception, including the well
documented fact that it also results in more and more abortions because of
contraception failure and misuse. In
Africa, a new study demonstrates the causal relationship between contraception and
the increase in AIDS which is rampant in the heterosexual population. Contraception and its effects (abortion and
divorce) also account for declining birthrates worldwide, which is playing
havoc with the world economy as countries struggle with deficits caused by entitlement
programs growing at a much faster rate than the working population.
Despite
all this, our government continues its attack on marriage, attempting to
redefine it as merely a social contract between any two (or more?) people in
love, regardless of whether they are capable of starting a family and raising
children successfully. The government
also insists that every employer provide free contraception, chemical abortion,
and surgical sterilization to their employees, even if it violates the moral
conscience of the employer. Under the
new law, church-owned hospitals and social service agencies must provide these
services, even going so far as to accuse those who object, of waging a war on
women.
God’s
truth is that we have been created in His image, male and female, with the
potential to love as He loves, giving ourselves to one another in permanent,
loving, and committed relationships which respect the inherent dignity of our
spouses and our offspring from the moment of conception. Our secular culture is blind to this truth
and is paying the price in countless ways.
If our society is to survive, we need to rediscover this truth and
realize that marriage and family are the basis of society, and neither can be
sacrificed at the altar of radical individualism. Pray for marriages, for respect for every
human life, and for our country to wake up to “The Truth” as revealed in our
bodies, our marriages, and our families.